Untitled, Unexplained, Unforgivable, and Unchuushi
by Snapped Chopstick
Summary: Unchuushi needs a new test subject! Written for Mearl, and to help rectify the severe lack of Unchuushi fics out there. No yaoi, just good clean healthy stalking with a stupid title. (Changed so I'm not running around matching my fics together.)


Title: Untitled, Unexplained, Unforgivable, and Unchuushi 

Rating: PG 

A/N: Ryuukitsu walks! At least in this, she does. Let's just overlook that, shall we? Overlook my senseless title while you're at it, too. Thanks.   
  
  
  
  
  
  


This was the sort of day that made him feel like doing things! 

Or, maybe not. 

Unchuushi was still in the middle of deciding if this was a day of doing things or staying put in his cozy laboratory (stainless steel and shiny glass and mystery bubbling liquids were so homey!) when an idea hit him. It was a brilliant, shining, genius idea that only he would even dare to dream of implementing. Maybe, if he felt like it, and as long as nothing else needed his immediate attention. 

The brilliant, shining, and genius idea percolated in his head, and the sheer amount of happiness it caused him made his eyes cross. While he really wasn't sure how this Idea of Ideas would be carried out, precisely, Unchuushi figured that was the sort of small detail that could be worked out later. Smiling to himself (and trying to keep his eyes from crossing _too_ much), he fairly skipped - alright, walked calmly - out of his lab. 

He was, after all, a scientist with a mission. He only hoped that Nentou Doujin wouldn't put up too much of a fuss when he whipped out the dissection knives. 

--------- 

One could hardly manage to be dignified while one was inching along a wall. But then, Unchuushi was rarely concerned with being diginified, and mostly concerned with keeping his most recent pet project within sight. Any dignity he may have wanted to preserve became depleted a bit more as he scrambled up the wall he had been leaning against to peek into a window. 

With a notepad in one hand and a pencil poised in the other, he watched each and every movement of the redheaded sennin like a biped feathered predator. Maybe a hawk. 

"Subject is very sluggish," Unchuushi noted in his notepad, "and appears to have some lack of oxygen as it forages." 

Nentou yawned hugely as he made himself a sandwich, rubbing at one eye and trying to keep his pajama bottoms on. 

The younger sennin ducked under the windowsill when Nentou turned his way, and quickly popped his head back up when he heard the footsteps retreat. His pencil nearly flew across the notepad. "Subject now seems to engaging in a bathing ritual of some sort." Squinting his eyes, he tried to get a better view. "Rather pale skin tone. Further analyzation of subject's anatomy must be made later." He made a quick sketch of his future guinea pig (hopefully!), and hopped from his perch. 

Nentou frowned and opened one eye, glancing towards the doorway. He had the strangest feeling of being... watched. Not very threatened, but watched nonetheless. When he couldn't divine the source of his feeling properly, he shrugged his shoulders and dunked his head in the bathwater. 

--------- 

"1100 hours. The subject has taken to walking the corridors, and appears to be looking for something or someone. Further observation is needed to divine subject's habits before procurement proceedures can take place--" Unchuushi's pencil stopped in its tracks as Nentou seemed to find the person he was looking for. 

Unchuushi - cleverly hidden behind a column - watched Nentou run up to a woman. "Oneesama!" Fascinated, Unchuushi returned to his note-taking. 

"Subject has engaged in conversation with a like being, apparently female, and apparently a familial relation. Subject has addressed female individual as 'sister'; therefore, the 'sister' will be referred to as thus from now on in these subject notes. 

"The sister and subject are now walking at an even pace to a room designated for dining. Subject is lighter of mood and bearing now, it seems. Subject is making many gestures to indicate that the sister should be seated." 

Unchuushi held the pad and pencil between his teeth as he scuttled along the carpet, finally coming to a halt under the table next to Nentou and Ryuukitsu. He poked the edge of the long tablecloth up just a bit, enough so that he could peer out at the pair. 

"1130 hours. Subject and the sister are communicating vocally. Each appear to be drinking hot water with extract of leaves." 

"It's been nice," Ryuukitsu said, fingering the rim of her teacup. "The weather is always very warm." 

Nentou smiled and patted her hand. "That's good." 

Feeling a little annoyed, Unchuushi pulled himself fully under the table and scribbled on his notepad furiously. "Subject is getting boring!" 

He perked up when he heard two chairs scrape quietly against the carpet as they were pushed away, followed by two distinct sets of footsteps heading back to the door. 

Eagerly, he poked his head out from the tablecloth again, and, upon seeing the retreating backs of the two sennin, popped out and followed them discreetly. "Subject and sister are now continuing their walk down the corridor, in the direction the subject originally came from. Subject is walking slightly ahead of the sister, probably due to his larger frame and stronger muscular structure. Sister is walking a bit more slowly, and appears to be approximately two feet away from stepping through an odd greesish liquid on the ground." 

Odd greenish liquid? On the ground? 

"Eee!" Unchuushi could barely conceal his panic as he realized that he must have dropped a vial of the organic oil he was working on in his excitement of following Nentou. "No no no!" he scribbled on the notepad, so frustrated that he forgot that he had vocal cords, "My experiment must not be corrupted in an environment outside of the laboratory! If there's too much contamination in that sample--" Scowling, he stuffed the notepad and pencil into his coat, then sprinted forward. 

"O-ohh!" Ryuukitsu squeaked a little in surprise as her foot hit something unbearably _slick_, and she started to topple backwards, hands waving as she tried to regain her balance. Then strong arms were around her, and holding her safe. She looked up, expecting to see her dear brother, but instead... there was a man... with a very odd hat. 

Unchuushi, in the meantime, was completely ignoring the woman in his arms in favor of his organic oil that lay on the marble floor, only slightly tainted by the female sennin's foot. He made a note to salvage what he could of it, and store it away from the other samples. When he realized he was still holding Ryuukitsu, he set her upright (far away enough from his organic oil to please him), still overlooking her entirely for the green stuff on the ground. 

He was still examining it when his subject came up to him, a relieved look on his face. "A-ah! Unchuushi, isn't it?" 

"Yeah?" Still looking at the organic oil. 

"Thank you so much for catching her! If there's ever anything I can do for you, just name it, and - ah... what's that look?" 

Unchuushi was staring at him. The scientist sennin frowned, then blinked, and finally smiled so wide his eyes crossed. "Actually, there _is _something you could assist me with."   



End file.
